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RUIZ's Lunches
RUIZ's lunches were meals that RUIZ ate between 12:12 and 12:45 during school hours Monday-Friday. They were the subject of humor for many of RUIZ's peers, especially Matthew Po. Meal RUIZ consumed his lunches on weekdays during the allotted school lunch period. RUIZ refused to eat his meal at any other time, as he claimed that his lunch was meant to be eaten during the allotted time. RUIZ's lunches always consisted of an entrée, a salty snack, a fruit, and two drinks. Entrée The entrée portion of RUIZ's lunches was always stored in a sandwich-shaped container, packed with paper napkins. The entrée was always one of the following: * Sandwich * Pizza bagel * Pizza rolls If the entrée was a pizza bagel, it would always be burnt. RUIZ would consume it by opening up its container, flipping it upside-down, taking a bite from it, flipping it right-side up, returning it to its container, and closing the container. It was often observed that RUIZ would shake during this process. On one occasion, Mark Ellis imitated the process, exaggerating the shakiness and slamming his food into his head. Salty Snack The salty snack portion of RUIZ's lunches was usually stored in either a small, plastic, Ziploc-like bag or in the original packaging from the distributor. The salty snack was always one of the following: * Chips ** Lay's Classic Potato Chips ** Fritos Original Corn Chips * Pretzel Sticks * Platanitos If the salty snack was a bag of chips, it would be in its original packaging, and if it was pretzel sticks, it would be in a small plastic bag. In the case that the snack was Lay's Classic Potato Chips, RUIZ would always open the bag upside-down, then proceed to eat the chips vertically, with the edge of the chip positioned perpendicular to his lips. In one incident, Max Fisch stole RUIZ's platanitos, and RUIZ became so angry that he could not discuss any other topic for an entire week. He is still unwilling to forgive Fisch to this day. Fruit The fruit portion of RUIZ's lunches was always wrapped in paper napkins and placed into the lunchbox that he was using at the time. The fruit was almost always one of the following: * Peach * Pear He has, on rare occasion, been seen eating a plum or banana. Unless the fruit had a pit, RUIZ would always viciously consume the entire fruit, including the stem. If the fruit did have a pit, he would devour all but the pit. When eating the fruit, he would keep it in the napkin, which sometimes led to him eating part of the napkin. Drinks The drinks in RUIZ's lunches were always stored in reused plastic water bottles. The following two drinks were always present in RUIZ's lunches: * Dirty water * Orange RUIZ's parents reused water bottles so as to save both money and the environment, so the drinks were always stored in these plastic water bottles. One water bottle was refilled using water from a dirty lake. This water was tasted by peers TJ and Mark, both of whom claimed that it was disgusting, but the former continued to drink it regularly out of desperation. The second water bottle was refilled with Sunkist Orange, but Po preferred to call it simply "orange." During an altercation over Emperor Po's safety, Mark and Ryan used RUIZ's drinks to splash each other, causing Mark to "smell fruity" for the remainder of the day. RUIZ suffered collateral damage from the incident, becoming dehydrated due to losing both of his drinks for the day, supporting the idea that he is the most unfortunate person on Earth. Lunchboxes RUIZ regularly carried a lunchbox with an incredibly long strap that allowed him to sling it over his shoulder. Irrespective of how long he had used it, RUIZ’s lunchbox was always dilapidated, as if it had been used for centuries. RUIZ’s Lunchbox RUIZ owned a Fila lunchbox for the majority of his high school years. It was grey and black, with silver zippers and a white Fila logo. It featured a bottom, prism-shaped compartment that was used to store the entrée in its sandwich container, and a top compartment that stored every other part of the meal. "MATTHEW RUIZ" was written on the inside of the upper compartment by RUIZ's mother. The compartments were sealed with black zippers that each had two silver sliders. Malfunction of these zippers, likely caused by Po's abuse, rendered the lunchbox unusable, forcing RUIZ to steal a new one. The Unknown Lunchbox After RUIZ's Lunchbox was retired, RUIZ stole a new lunchbox in which to store his meals. The identity of this lunchbox's original owner is unknown, and was a major point of speculation during RUIZ's time using the lunchbox. This new lunchbox was a black and blue Igloo lunchbox, with one compartment sealed with a black zipper with a silver slider. In front, the Igloo logo was displayed in white on a red background. An undecipherable inscription could be found on the inside of the lunchbox in black sharpie ink. Some claim to have interpreted the inscription as "MATTHEW RUIZ," but the validity of these claims is not confirmed. RUIZ often cited these claims as proof of his ownership of the lunchbox, but his arguments were always dismissed by his peers, who did not understand why "MATTHEW RUIZ" would be inscribed in the lunchbox of someone whose name was "RUIZ." The Unknown Lunchbox was often taken from RUIZ and physically assaulted, usually due to disapproval surrounding RUIZ's unethical acquisition of the lunchbox. It was often hidden from RUIZ, stolen from him, or placed in locations that would be difficult for RUIZ to reach. On one occasion, this treatment was witnessed by an individual named Aaron, whose exclamation of, "Leave my boy's lunchbox alone!" gave the Unknown Lunchbox the nickname of Aaron's Boy's Lunchbox. Tying Po enjoyed using the long shoulder strap to tie RUIZ’s lunchbox to various items, thereby inconveniencing RUIZ. The first instance of this happening was in Kozlow’s class, when, out of boredom, Po tied RUIZ’s Lunchbox to his own leg and exclaimed, “Gotcha!” when RUIZ realized. RUIZ’s lunchbox and later the Unknown Lunchbox were frequently tied to the following: * Poles * Desks * Chairs * Legs * RUIZ’s Backpack * RUIZ